I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FASCINATED BY THE STIGMATA!
The ones who carry the wounds of Christ, the bleeding wrists are the most common (of this extremely rare phenomenon), are said to be deeply spiritual people who are often deeply tormented people.
The deepest faith means the deepest battles internally with our own “demons”.
For years, I had a secret fantasy that I would have something like the Stigmata as an outward symbol of my inner struggle.
I grew up being told I didn’t have faith because I didn’t buy into the Southern Baptist churchgoer’s ideas of what a “good person” should do and be.
But I also had a sense of the Divine that rumbled in the deepest part of my soul – but I couldn’t describe it.
“Maybe if my wrists bled, then I wouldn’t doubt my faith” seemed to be the thought I had.
But really it would, in some way, give me something to fight.
If it were something external it would be an easier fight than the one that I had.
I came to realize two things:
One, the only real sin is to not be true to who we really are – who God put us here to be.
Two, the real battle is to fight the way we think, the way we were taught to think about ourselves.
When we think in ways that prevent us from being who we really are and feel fantastic about being our authentic self, we are SCREWED!
Did you hear that?
THE ONLY REAL SIN IS TO NOT BE TRUE TO WHO WE REALLY ARE!
Here, let me put it in language the churchgoers will understand:
SELF-DOUBT AND FEAR OF JUDGEMENT ARE AN ABOMINATION!
If you are following the rules of being a “good person” you are telling God to go fuck herself!
Oh, wait. You probably also think god is a man, don’t you?! Whatever.
I fought and still fight against my own DOUBT and FEAR – I feel like I keep losing, and I keep fighting and keep growing.
Deeply Tormented? YUP!
We all are, in some way.
My job is to get myself in front of those doubts and fears as well as I can, not stop myself, and keep pushing forward.
My biggest doubt is about my worth, the fear is about being judged and outcast, abandoned.
IF I HIDE WHO I REALLY AM AND ONLY SHARE WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, YOU WON’T JUDGE ME!
Of course it comes from abandonment issues as an infant, I know that, and the struggle plays out again every time I grow and up-level in any area of my life.
Here’s the problem:
Your judgments only come from your insecurities, not from any kind of moral righteousness (even though that’s what we were taught).
Although those fears don’t come up in my personal relationships much any more, they certainly come up as roadblocks to growing my business!
It’s an honor to serve and support people in their own empowerment as they learn how to get into alignment and to bring their true authentic selves into their most important relationships.
Out of an incredible Faith, devotion to a Spiritual Path, and insight into our inner emotional workings on the deepest levels, I have found three things keep coming up that need attention in our culture:
They are things that we all NEED and WANT:
I wrote about all these a couple of days ago, if you missed it check it out here:
All three of these are vital parts of who we are!
All three require authenticity, emotional awareness, growing sense of inner peace, depth of presence, and depth of spirit.
Whenever one is enhanced, it opens the door for greater senses in the others.
The same skills are needed for all three and their importance cannot be over-looked.
When you are ready to dive-deep into your own heart, the heart of the Divine, and into the heart those most important to you, you need to schedule some time to talk with me.
Isn’t it time to start the life you dreamed of?!
Be REAL. Be RAW. Make Your Life AWESOME.