So many people put themselves through so much heartache and so much misery because we’ve been taught to only value romantic love as love.
Anything else is judged as subpar in some way.
That notion that only romantic love is love is actually based in trying to get Safety and Security needs met and/or worthiness needs met in the relationship.
Trying to get those needs mad by a relationship, can get us through tough spots in life, and it ultimately leads to problems.
Trying to make it lifetime relationship while putting that kind of pressure on a relationship is a recipe for disaster, disappointment, or shutting part of yourself down.
But if you’re shut down and broken-hearted already, it probably looks like the greatest deal you could ever find!
It’s unfortunate that we have been taught that romantic love is the only kind of love that’s acceptable.
The love we feel during sex, when we have our hearts open and we are fully present, can be Enlightening, Sacred, and Transformational and all of that can happen in or outside the boundaries of a romantic relationship.
When we stay in integrity, within ourselves, honoring our selves, knowing our worth, sex provides opportunities to touch the Divine in Mystical ways.
The ones who carry the wounds of Christ, the bleeding wrists are the most common (of this extremely rare phenomenon), are said to be deeply spiritual people who are often deeply tormented people.
The deepest faith means the deepest battles internally with our own “demons”.
For years, I had a secret fantasy that I would have something like the Stigmata as an outward symbol of my inner struggle.
I grew up being told I didn’t have faith because I didn’t buy into the Southern Baptist churchgoer’s ideas of what a “good person” should do and be.
But I also had a sense of the Divine that rumbled in the deepest part of my soul – but I couldn’t describe it.
“Maybe if my wrists bled, then I wouldn’t doubt my faith” seemed to be the thought I had.
But really it would, in some way, give me something to fight.
If it were something external it would be an easier fight than the one that I had.
I came to realize two things:
One, the only real sin is to not be true to who we really are – who God put us here to be.
Two, the real battle is to fight the way we think, the way we were taught to think about ourselves.
When we think in ways that prevent us from being who we really are and feel fantastic about being our authentic self, we are SCREWED!
Did you hear that?
THE ONLY REAL SIN IS TO NOT BE TRUE TO WHO WE REALLY ARE!
Here, let me put it in language the churchgoers will understand:
SELF-DOUBT AND FEAR OF JUDGEMENT ARE AN ABOMINATION!
If you are following the rules of being a “good person” you are telling God to go fuck herself!
Oh, wait. You probably also think god is a man, don’t you?! Whatever.
I fought and still fight against my own DOUBT and FEAR – I feel like I keep losing, and I keep fighting and keep growing.
Deeply Tormented? YUP!
We all are, in some way.
My job is to get myself in front of those doubts and fears as well as I can, not stop myself, and keep pushing forward.
My biggest doubt is about my worth, the fear is about being judged and outcast, abandoned.
IF I HIDE WHO I REALLY AM AND ONLY SHARE WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, YOU WON’T JUDGE ME!
Of course it comes from abandonment issues as an infant, I know that, and the struggle plays out again every time I grow and up-level in any area of my life.
Here’s the problem:
Your judgments only come from your insecurities, not from any kind of moral righteousness (even though that’s what we were taught).
Although those fears don’t come up in my personal relationships much any more, they certainly come up as roadblocks to growing my business!
It’s an honor to serve and support people in their own empowerment as they learn how to get into alignment and to bring their true authentic selves into their most important relationships.
Out of an incredible Faith, devotion to a Spiritual Path, and insight into our inner emotional workings on the deepest levels, I have found three things keep coming up that need attention in our culture:
They are things that we all NEED and WANT:
I wrote about all these a couple of days ago, if you missed it check it out here:
DAD, IS THIS ONE OF THOSE “MY DAD IS A THERAPIST” MOMENTS?
Yes, my stand-up comedian daughter, at age 11, will bust my balls from time to time – she’s brilliant at it.
She is an empath.
She is Empathic – without trying she feels other’s feelings.
She felt the pain of a character on tv.
We stopped a movie to talk about what was going on.
FUCK! SHE’S 11 YEARS OLD, WHY CAN’T SHE BE A LITTLE GIRL A LITTLE LONGER!
But secretly I am proud of her. Of course she’s an empath! Of course she’s psychic!
She was conceived of two people who dedicated their lives to studying the Medicine Path in a Native American spiritual Tradition.
BEING AN EMPATH DOESN’T HAVE TO LEAD TO PAIN!
I felt every one’s pain when I was little – all I got was pity.
I was told I was “too sensitive.”
I was told I was “too serious all the time.”
I was confused and felt like there was something wrong with me.
“JoJo, you will feel other’s people’s emotions the rest of your life. You feel them big. You can take them in and feel sad, but we were born to be healers – to be beacons of Light.”
“Dad, I feel it all the time. It doesn’t end.” She said matter-of-fact-ly.
“I know, sweetie. Me too. It never ends. Here is the thing: When we make peace with our own hurts inside, we don’t feel like we are drowning in other’s pain.
It is not your pain. Your job is to know what it is like to hurt and to know that Love and Light can heal the hurt.”
THIS GIRL IS GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH SOME REAL HURTS. I HATE IT AND IT HAPPENS TO ALL HEALERS.
In Shamanic teachings, the first healing any shaman has to do is on themself.
If she chooses to walk this path, she is going to have to hurt and heal.
I don’t want to push her, and I want to support her.
Now the part that had us laughing until we both had tears in our eyes was that (during her current fascination with HotPockets) she described holding space for someone who is hurting like, ” your heart is a big HotPocket and you wrap them up in the warm meat and cheesy center of a giant HotPocket.” (don’t judge, I bought a box of HotPockets)
Seriously, how many women are just now understanding and making peace with their intuition as they get into their late 30’s and early 40’s?!
What if you had been given the support and guidance you needed when you were young?
What if you grew up feeling EMPOWERMENT?!
Whether you are 42 years old, making up for lost time, or just starting your journey like my daughter,
IT IS YOUR TIME!
Don’t buy into that “don’t be selfish” crap! Take excellent care of you!
Selfish people who didn’t want to face their own insecurities taught you to “Don’t Be Selfish.”
(but that’s a different discussion)
You get to decide what story is told. No longer will you let someone else’s fear and shut-down dictate what is talked about.
For now, MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAIN!
That way, when you feel bombarded by other’s pain and emotions, you don’t lose your emotional center.
I only work with psychics and intuitives helping them to make peace with their old hurts and they won’t lose their emotional center –
They get to stay in that place where they feel nothing but Light and Love more and more and more.
When you are ready for that next level shit, schedule the time to talk with me.
IT IS TIME TO STEP INTO YOUR POWER AS A WOMAN AND LEAVE SELF-DOUBT BEHIND!
YOU’LL LEARN HOW TO EMBRACE AND EMBODY YOUR RADIANCE AND WISDOM AND GROW PAST WHO YOU WERE TAUGHT TO BE – WHO YOU FELT LIKE YOU “HAD TO BE.”
YOU’LL LEARN HOW TO (AND WHY IT’S NECESSARY TO) MAKE YOURSELF THE PRIORITY AND STOP PUTTING YOURSELF LAST.
ALL YOU WANT IS PEACE IN YOUR LIFE! THAT’S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK!
“Somehow Marcus knows how to speak to a part of me as a woman that isn’t addressed nearly often enough. It’s a deep, hidden part that needs affirmation as well as permission to become the most radiant and glorious possibility of myself. I’m not sure what it is, but I know that when coaxed out of its hiding place, my higher sense of self and ALL of the possibilities that brings are activated. It is a beautiful thing for a woman to behold about herself and Marcus has been given the ability to shed light on this in a professional setting and it is capable of starting internal revolutions of growth and change – Revolutions within to claim who she is ultimately meant to be.” – Selena G.
Working with Marcus, I learned to embrace my wide open heart and ability to be as big as I can. Some of the most magical beings have come into my life and I have had some of the greatest connections because I learned to trust myself to lead with my heart – I am so in love with the world and being the best light I can be. MARCUS, YOU MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE! -Shelia C.
As a woman growing into your late 30’s and early 40’s, you grow into another level of maturity – AND NO ONE PREPARED YOU FOR IT!
You start having feelings you’ve never had before and YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, or WHERE THEY COME FROM.
Powerful parts of you have been cocooned inside of you for your entire life and are just now coming out – AND IT’S A STRUGGLE!
IT’S FUCKING SCARY!
A LOT OF THE TIME YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU MAY BE GOING CRAZY!
You are longing for more DEEP CONNECTION, you are longing for more AUTHENTICITY – with yourself and everyone else.
YOU ARE LONGING TO FULLY ENGAGE IN YOUR LIFE –
AND TO QUIT PUTTING YOURSELF LAST!
This is such a POWERFUL TIME OF GROWTH!
Women have rarely been given the TOOLS and GUIDANCE they need to navigate this growth period well.
During this time of growth, you begin to out-grow many of the ideas of what you thought you were “supposed to be”
– you question what you have always thought you “should” be
– and you begin to question things that you have identified with your whole adult life:
– Being a good woman – Being a good wife – Being a good mom
As you begin to peel back the layers of who you have been your whole life, IT FEELS SCARY!
You begin to question, “Has my whole life has been a lie? Or is this who I really am? Am I lying to myself? Will anyone understand?”
YOU START TO SECRETLY BEGIN QUESTONING EVERYTHING, INCLUDING YOUR MARRIAGE!
and you are SHAMED for feeling this way!
Fear and unworthiness… 2 themes interwoven in my life that were going to destroy my relationship and keep me stuck in my own “spin cycle” without any awareness of what was actually happening. Fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of decision making, fear of losing control, fear of disappointing people… Unknowingly, I was making my relationship my “scapegoat”- finger pointing, blame, criticism- all because I didn’t feel worthy enough in my own skin. Marcus taught me how to take ownership of my own “crap” without deflecting it onto my husband and to not listen to the lies that I was unknowingly feeding myself about my own worthiness. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Absolutely! -Tara S.
As you mature, you begin to long for the EMOTIONAL FREEDOM to be who you REALLY ARE! Not just who you were told you are “supposed to be.”
You long to bring your CREATIVITY and all your GIFTS into the world –
Even if you aren’t really clear what those gifts are just yet!
You want the PERMISSION to find out what those gifts are WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE’S NEEDS COMING FIRST!
The idea of NOT growing into the REAL YOU, your more authentic, self feels like DYING AN EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL DEATH.
This is the time to DISCOVER who you have grown into being, not SHAME who you have grown into being.
When this type of inner growth searching begins, you often feel alone – like no one understands.
One woman’s mom said, “If you leave him now, another woman will get to benefit from all the work he has done on his business.”
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I know that some men are still the bread winners in the family, but she is selling her daughter on an economic partnership where her heart is dying and the future looks dark.
Meanwhile this woman is trying to get to the bottom of the issues and find some clarity before everything blows up in her life!
This time of your life can be SCARY and CONFUSING.
HAVING A SAFE, JUDGMENT-FREE PLACE TO EXPLORE ALL THOSE PLACES INSIDE IS A GIFT THAT ALL WOMEN NEED AND DESERVE!
I INTUITIVELY align with your HEART and teach you how to do the same. So you can tell the difference between your inner critical voice and the voice of your true self.
I see DEEPLY into the layers of who you are that have remained hidden up until now. You’ll learn to feel the POWERFUL presence of your authentic self.
We will get CLARITY on your needs and desires that are emerging, get the tools you need to start living your most AWESOME LIFE!
You’ll make peace with how your needs and desires have not been met yet, and move forward WITHOUT SETTLING!
You’ll begin to see those needs from a place of EMPOWERMENT and EXCITEMENT, not from a place of sadness or frustration.
We’ll IDENTIFY and you’ll UNDERSTAND the new strengths emerging in you and develop the strategies for carrying them into EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.
IT IS TIME TO START YOUR NEW JOURNEY INTO BECOMING (UNCOVERING) THE AMAZING WOMAN YOU DREAM OF BEING.
I have always been fascinated with butterflies and how they see EVERYTHING around them. As an intuitive, I have always seen dangers all around me, especially from men. I’m standoffish, I don’t open up – but I found myself talking to Marcus. I cried through the first 7 chapters of his book, because I felt all the love I had always pushed away and all the hurt I had buried. Marcus, you are my life coach, my spiritual guide, and the “good brother” I always needed that was never there in my life. You were like the stronger part of me that showed me my own strength and how to love myself. I learned that I was worthy of other’s love, but not from a place of ego – from a place of peace and faith in myself – my faith in Humanity was restored – my faith in men was restored. – Erica P.
If you are ready to let go of fear and doubt and develop UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE,
If you are ready to go from being scared you aren’t enough to STANDING IN YOUR POWER,
If you are ready to learn the communication tools to handle tough conversations with ease,
This this program is for you!
Join us for this 3 Month Deep-Dive INNER STRENGTH Journey.
You and 11 other women will Dive Deep into the core of who you are and blossom back into the world even more awesome than you already are.
One of my biggest personal bug-a-boos is that I am out there on the leading edge and have some next level shit to teach and in order to teach it, I’m going to have to fuck with your head.
SOME DAYS IT KILLS ME.
Some days I just don’t feel strong enough to go kick the world’s ass . . .
And on those days I have a choice: I can lay low and feel that gap between what my soul is longing for (TO SHINE BRIGHT AND SHARE THE PROFOUND SHIT I CAME TO TEACH) and what I feel like doing – FEELING THAT GAP FEELS LIKE SHIT!
I can CONFRONT the fear and get on with doing what I love and face the potential judging and shaming that could come.
BUT HERE’S THE DEAL . . .
We get from the universe what we put out.
The world will only judge you IF YOU ARE JUDGING YOU!
If I am in a place of FAITH and CONFIDENCE, then people don’t even bother – they get scared off by true confidence and faith.
People can only fuck with you in the areas where YOU ARE ALREADY FUCKING WITH YOU!
It’s no wonder I am so good at coaching people who need to step into a place of faith about being who they are – I know all the bullshit excuses for hiding!
So look at the places where you say:
I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT . . .
What if the thing keeping you “stuck” is a belief that is not-negotiable for you?
You don’t even want to talk about it!
What if you have to open your mind in order to free your heart and soul?
It could be your self-image, you may be believing, BECAUSE YOU WERE TAUGHT, you have to be a certain way –
And it isn’t a good fit for WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
It could be a belief you have based on a fear or insecurity –
Those beliefs hold you back from stepping up and being who you really are!
The biggest problems come when we have the belief based on insecurity (fear of being a bad person) that says, “IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE (this certain thing), YOU ARE BAD!” So you can’t even look at the thing that holds you back because there is a rule that says YOU WILL BE HELD BACK IF YOU LOOK AT THIS!
What a convoluted mind fuck that is!
(And most of those fears of being “a bad person” are projected onto others and come up as FEAR OF BEING JUDGED BY OTHERS.)
It is when we look at the ways in which we are scared of being judged that we find NOT ONLY the greatest areas of growth, also the AREAS OF OUR GREATEST GIFTS!
To build the FOUNDATION for your most awesome life, and get the RELATIONSHIP TOOLS you need to make your love and your life TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME, get the Pillars of Awesome Relationships Video Training today. http://www.marcusambrester.com/how-to-become-a-relationship-master/
Your partner will wonder what has happened to you!
By learning to be super comfortable within yourself, you will see your partner soften.
By learning what holds you back, you will learn to step into your greatest self.
You will go from feeling hurt, frustration, anger and resentment to feeling COMPASSION and UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE
Do yourself, your partner, your kids, and your world and favor AND GET THIS VIDEO TRAINING! http://www.marcusambrester.com/how-to-become-a-relationship-master/