Monthly Archives: March 2018

Do you live in fear of being Judged?

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DO WE LIVE IN A JUDGMENTAL CULTURE?

Some say YES – some say NO.  What’s the difference?  We all live in the same world . . .

Well, the world mirrors what we are inside, what believe about ourself.

When someone is judgmental, most people don’t understand what’s really going on.

Judgement can alleviate ONE TYPE of pressure from a social discomfort, but it doesn’t alleviate the REAL DISCOMFORT!

If I judge you for doing something I don’t like, something I think is “bad”, I feel a little bit more worthy, that’s what judgement does.

JUDGMENT BOSTERS THE FRAGILE EGO!

That’s why people say, “When people judge me, it says more about them than it does about me.”  That’s true.

If you are judging, it says that you are in that lower vibrational place of judgement, rather than the higher vibrational place of acceptance, love, compassion.

If I judge you, I am limiting my own emotional energy – it may mask my own insecurity or disowned part of myself, but it doesn’t heal the root of that disconnect within me.

JUDGMENT OF YOU DOESN’T MAKE ME OUTGROW MY INSECURITY!

JUDGMENT OF YOU DOESN’T INTEGRATE THE PART OF ME I REJECT (that part of me that I don’t accept, that I judge when I see it in you.)

I hear from so many people that they are tired of being judged.

I get it, I wouldn’t want to walk around feeling judged either – AND it doesn’t stop unless we know and take responsibility for where the judgment comes from, OURSELVES!  WE CREATE IT!

Well, maybe we didn’t create it, but we sure as hell perpetuate it!

If you are in a defensive place, defending against being judged, you are still in that judgmental place – you are just on the other side of it.

While it feels better to be on the other side of it, THERE’S A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF PEACE AND JOY POSSIBLE.

Are you ready to step into a greater level of peace and joy?

IT IS EASY TO STOP BEING JUDGED!

Stop judging yourself – when you stop judging yourself, it means you are accepting yourself.

When you accept yourself, you raise your vibration and you won’t be confronted with judgement.

Or when someone does judge you, it won’t stick – you blow it off, EASILY.

In order to be disturbed by someone’s judgment, there has to be some kind of hook within us.

When we eliminate that hook inside us, the judgment can’t take hold.

Are you ready to quit putting so much energy into defending yourself?

Are you ready to feel massive amounts of energy into making your life peaceful and joyful?

Be REAL.  Be RAW.  Make Your Life AWESOME.

Victim Mindset: A “HOW TO”

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HOW TO PLAY THE VICTIM

Only date and marry codependent people.

Ignore when you say potentially offensive shit to other people.  (You are probably ignorant of how that shit leaks out sideways anyway.)

Ignore how your personal issues play into your reaction to what another person does.  (Stay focused on how everything is THEIR FAULT.)

You need to feel insecure about your worth, so you can paint the other person as “bad” (which means you must be “good, worthy”).

Ignore the fact that the pain you feel is a result of telling yourself a victim story.  (Doomsday stories are always true.)

Stay away from the RAW pain that you’ve always had.  (Keep telling yourself you healed that shit!  If it weren’t for this asshole, you would be fine.)

Only tell others about your good intentions and caring actions.  (Don’t talk about how you may have contributed to the situation.)

Criticize!  Criticize!  Criticize!  (And minimize what you did!)

State every feeling as a fact.  (nothing is open for interpretation.)

Bring up old stuff that already got resolved and talk about it as if it never got dealt with.  (This one is GOLD!)

Make everything about you.  (No one respects you anyway, you have to make them listen to you.)

Be REAL.  Be RAW.  Make Your Life AWESOME.

Women With UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE

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“I JUST GOT BULLIED!

It happened in the Board Room!”

Bully-ing doesn’t just happen in schools.

So many of the women in my Jedi Goddess Training program are Executives, emerging Entrepreneurs, and Badasses who are awesome at what they do.

They all have one common trait:  They lack the CONFIDENCE they want.

Every one of these women has felt beaten down by some kind of self-important bully in the work place.

It is either a catty woman, who gets in everyone’s business, or a man who tries to control everything to satisfy his ego.

Every one of them has earned the respect and adoration of all the super cool people around them.

(The insecure idiots, catty women, and infantile ego-maniacs are usually threatened by them.)

The women who come to work with me aren’t afraid to look inside and take responsibility for their part in what’s going on in their lives,

Of course they start off complaining about the things that frustrate them, but THEY DON’T STOP THERE –

THEY WANT TO GO DEEPER, REACH HIGHER –

They want to show up BIGGER IN THE WORLD.

The hard part is even though they face opposition from others, they have to look at the ways they have kept themselves small in the face of that opposition.

Our culture teaches us to quickly assess blame on only one person, this sets up a dangerous dynamic:  victim, perpetrator, rescuer.

In relationships, even work relationships, this commonly plays out as victim thinking where the bully is seen as a bad guy.

Blame is about WORTH – YOU ARE WORTHY – so blame won’t ever help.

It’s time to focus on you stepping into your power.

It’s time to cultivate the CONFIDENCE you need to reach your goals.

Bullies are idiots, no doubt, and they prey on insecurities.

The really cool thing is that bullies show us what our insecurities are (as if we didn’t already know).

Once we clearly specifically identify those insecurities, then we have a clear path to healing, growing, and over-coming the challenges we face.

It amazes me how bullies stop bullying as soon as their subjects out-grow their insecurities.

If you are ready to grow into UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE, schedule some time to talk with me today.

Be REAL.  Be RAW.  Make Your Life AWESOME.