USE THE WORD “CHEATING” TO PAINT YOURSELF AS A VICTIM!

It works every single time.

Should they have had sex with someone else without telling you?

OF COURSE NOT!  (But not because it did you wrong.)

Keeping secrets keeps THEM from feeling the amazing feeling of being FREE –

Telling the truth is its own gift, to you as well.

It gives you both the chance to make decisions from a place of power.

But there are actually two issues involved, not just the lie.

The two issues get mashed together, confused.

(which helps in the BLAME/VICTIM GAME)

Did they have sex with someone else?  Yes.

Did that take something away from you?  NO!  (except your illusions)

Did it bring out your insecurities?  Are you scared the other is a better lover than you?

Are you scared your beloved can’t love you as much if they had sex with another?

THAT’S WHAT WE WERE TAUGHT!

It’s a lie, but it’s what we were taught.

When we use the word “cheating” we all have accepted what it means,

BUT VERY FEW HAVE DEVELOPED AWARENESS ABOUT ALL OF WHAT IT MEANS TO US.

What people ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT when their partner has “cheated”,

invariably comes down to something

THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR PARTNER OR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

Disrespect, Deserving better, Cheater, Liar . . . THOSE COME FROM YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH ISSUES!

I am not saying it’s ok to have sex with someone else without you knowing,

I’m saying that you are going to put yourself through hell (LOTS OF VICTIM MINDSET DRAMA) if you aren’t clear about where your reactions come from.

Whether you want to stay together or not, the issues that come up INSIDE YOU need to heal.

You can heal together – or you can heal apart, but walking away, blaming/judging the other JUST HOLDS YOU BACK.

Judging the other as a “cheater” may bolster your EGO,

and it keeps you stuck in that SAME VIBRATION OF PLAYING THE VICTIM.

You DO deserve better FROM YOURSELF than to PAINT YOURSELF AS A VICTIM.

LEARN THE DIFFERENCE if you want to really take off in your life.

IF YOU WANT TO STAND IN YOUR POWER, you can’t do it by playing the victim.

If this pisses you off, there is a gift in it for you.

You’ve probably felt like you you’ve spent your whole life FIGHTING to feel your own worth!

You need to know your worth.

If this pisses you off, it’s showing you the next step in growing into a truly CONFIDENT place.

You deserve UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE!  And there are no shortcuts, YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK!

IT’S TIME TO TAKE THAT NEXT STEP,

Send me a message and schedule a time to talk today.

Be REAL.  Be RAW.  Make Your Life AWESOME.

THE HARDEST ISSUE IN THERAPY!

While people QUIT therapy most to avoid learning to set boundaries, it’s an easy issue to teach.

BOUNDARIES ARE EASY.  YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN.

What is hard?

CHEATING!

Why is it hard?

Not because of BETRAYAL,
Not because of LIES,

It’s NOT because of the things that people always talk about when cheating happens . . .

It’s because of what people DON’T TALK ABOUT!
(usually it’s the part that pisses them off the most, too)

Kids pay a big price when parents don’t deal with their shit well –
it’s hard enough to go through,
it’s even harder without guidance, and kids suffer more . . .

Why do some people immediately want to leave when their partner cheats?
Why do some people want to save the relationship when their partner cheats?

Why do we have so much judgement about it?

In order to SAVE THE RELATIONSHIP, or successfully move on, without emotional baggage
NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE TO DIG DEEP –
you have to answer questions you don’t want to answer.

WHEN WE ARE HURT, THE LAST THING WE WANT TO DO IS BE MORE VULNERABLE!

And anything less is just plain chickenshit!

Recovering from an affair is incredibly hard.

And it is even harder if you don’t know how to do it or what the real issues are!

If you and your partner are struggling, or you are struggling alone,

Let’s make the time to talk.

Send me a private message or call 615-653-9198 and schedule our first talk.

Be REAL.  Be RAW.  Make Your Life AWESOME.